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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, your fave radio op! So, findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Proper mad innit! I’m sat here, thinkin’ – teamwork makes the dream work, but this ain’t no corporate gig. Nah, this is gritty, real-life stuff. Like in me fave flick, “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” – y’know, that trippy Thai masterpiece? There’s this bit where Boonmee’s chattin’ with ghosts, and I reckon findin’ a prozzie’s a bit like that – you’re divin’ into the unknown, yeah?

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Next, I head to the local market. It’s buzzing with life! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden, and I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Lady, I gotta go!”