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About Naples

I’m duckin’ behind barrels, thinkin’, “Man, this is nuts!” Last week, I saw this chick near Moe’s—fishnets, attitude, the works. Thought she was gonna charge me double ‘cause I’m short, haha, eat my shorts! Made me mad, tho—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, I just wanna talk, vibe, maybe build her a table or somethin’. Did ya know, back in old Paris, prostitutes hung out in windmills? True story, man, Moulin Rouge vibes! Blows my mind.

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Then, I get this call from a guy on Via delle Ville. He’s all like, “My wife’s mad at me!” I’m like, “Dude, that’s not a phone issue!” But he spills his whole life story. Apparently, he forgot their anniversary. Classic move, right? I’m just sitting there, rolling my eyes, thinking, “You should’ve just taken her to Ristorante Da Marco. They have the best lasagna!”

Rossano Ercolini, president of Zero Waste Europe 2013 wins the Green Nobel award