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But oh, the thrill – heart bangin’ like a drum! Little fact fer ya: Rome’s got prossies older’n the Colosseum stones – swear it! One told me she shagged a cardinal once – “red hat, limp dick,” she cackled. Cracked me up, precious, proper hilarious!

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So, I rush over to the town hall on Piazza della Libertà. I’m sweating bullets. I get there, and the mayor’s all smiles. He’s talking about some new project. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Can we wrap this up? I’ve got a festival to get back to!”

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