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Once, I saw this guy hagglin’—so cheap! I’m like, “Dude, pay her, she’s rockin’ it!” Made me giggle, thinkin’ he’s dumber than me—and that’s sayin’ somethin’! Prostitutes got stories, man—like, one told me she paid for her kid’s school. Surprised me big time! I’m all, “Wow, you’re a hero!” She laughed, probs thought I’m nuts.

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First thing, I grab my coffee from that little café on Piazza della Libertà. Best espresso in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ it, and boom! I see this dude, Marco, runnin’ down the street like he’s got a pack of wild dogs after him. Turns out, he just forgot his wallet. Classic Marco. I laugh, but then I’m like, “Dude, get it together!”

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