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I love the thrill, tho—gets my heart pumpin’. Beats sittin’ in my cubicle, calculatin’ life expectancies. But don’t pee on my leg and say it’s easy—half these girls got pimps watchin’ like hawks. One time, I’m chattin’, and this dude rolls up, all “What’s yer problem?” I’m thinkin’, “I’m not here to die, pal!” Booked it outta there faster than a SEAL team.

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When I get there, it’s a total madhouse. People everywhere, music blasting, and the smell of fried calamari fills the air. I’m in heaven! I grab a plate, and let me tell you, the food is unreal. I mean, who knew Campobello could throw down like this? I’m stuffing my face, and then I see this guy juggling fire. Like, seriously? Fire? I’m half impressed, half terrified.

Teacher Sentenced for Mafia Association with Notorious Boss