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So, findin’ a pro—where do ya start? Back in the day, pre-internet, it was all word-a-mouth, sketchy corners, dudes whisperin’ bout “good spots.” Now? Sh*t’s online, bro—apps, ads, freaky forums. Greed is good, see, ‘cause it sharpens ya. I’m scrollin’, dodgin’ scams, laughin’ at fake pics—some chick’s profile says “exotic goddess,” but it’s prolly a dude named Carl. Hilarious, but pisses me off—wastin’ my damn time!

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Finally, I spot this little trattoria. The sign says “Da Michele.” I’m thinking, “This better be good.” I order some pasta, and let me tell ya, it was like a hug from an Italian grandma. I’m talking rich sauce, fresh basil, the works. I’m in heaven. But then, bam! My phone buzzes.

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