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Git-R-Done! Alright, y’all, let’s talk escort – not the shady kind, nah, I mean them fancy Ford Escorts, them cars that zipped around back in the day! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Lost in Translation,” that movie’s got me all misty-eyed, ya know? “I just feel so alone,” Scarlett Johansson whines, and dang it, that’s how I felt when my buddy’s Escort broke down on me in ’98 – stranded, me and that hunk o’ junk!

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But wait! It gets better. I decide to head back home, right? I’m walking down Via Giuseppe Mazzini, and I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Whoa, dude! Chill!” But then, he drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who needs a horror movie when you have Calvizzano street performers?

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