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Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m no expert, just a bumbling fool stumblin’ through life’s mess. “Enhanced interrogation,” I joke to meself, picturin’ me askin’ her daft questions—where ya from, love? What’s yer fave crisp flavour? She’d prob’ly wallop me—fair dos. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it’s a lark, innit? Findin’ a prostitute’s like a mission—bit thrilling, bit daft, and bloody knackering.

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First off, I hit the streets. I mean, who doesn’t love a stroll down Via Roma? It’s like the heart of the town. But guess what? It was market day! Ugh! Crowds everywhere. I’m dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. “Excuse me, pardon me, watch it!” I’m practically doing the cha-cha to get through.

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