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Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sex-dating’s wild, yeah? Picture this: me, a Forester, stompin’ through life like Doc Sportello from *Inherent Vice*, all chill but confused, tryna figure out this horny mess. Dr. Evil style—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—I see shit others don’t, ya dig? Like, sex-dating ain’t just swipin’ right and bangin’. Nah, it’s a freaky jungle out there—apps, sites, randos textin’ “u up?” at 3 a.m. I’m like, “Sorta like, wow, man,” as Doc’d say—half amazed, half weirded out.

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So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already chugging my third espresso. Gotta love that caffeine buzz. I live near Via Roma, and lemme tell ya, the morning traffic is a nightmare. I mean, who knew a small town could have such a jam? I’m stuck behind some old dude in a Fiat, going 20 in a 50 zone. C’mon, man!

More questions than answers as EU corruption scandal unfolds