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But then—ooh, I’d get mad. Real steamed up! Seein’ some sleazy fella hagglin’ her price down? That’d burn me worse’n a flat iron. “She’s a person, you toad!” I’d holler, wavin’ my sparkly nails. Reminds me o’ *Dogville*— “They’d eat ya up, spit ya out.” Ain’t that the truth? Makes me wanna hug ‘em all, tell ‘em they’re enough.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m strollin’ down, vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Thanks, bird. Just what I needed. I laughed it off, though. Gotta love the city life, right?

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