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About Myself
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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”
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Then, I get another call. This lady’s all worked up about the market on Piazza della Libertà. Apparently, they ran outta fresh pasta. I mean, c’mon! In Budrio? That’s like a crime against humanity! I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like, “I need my tortellini!” I’m like, “Lady, I can’t make pasta appear outta thin air!”
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