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Lemme tell ya somethin’—little known fact, okay? Prostitution’s been around forever, right? Ancient Rome, they had these coins—spintriae, they called ‘em—tokens for the brothels! Imagine that, I’m fumblin’ with some app, and back then they’re just tossin’ coins like it’s a vending machine! Hilarious! I’m laughin’, but I’m also cryin’—I’d lose the damn coin, guaranteed. “Where’s my token?!” I’d yell, while some toga guy’s like, “Relax, Larry, she’s over there.”

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I finally get my act together and head to the park. Parco della Rocca, man, it’s beautiful! I love it there. The trees, the vibe, the people. But guess what? There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. Like, I’m trying to enjoy nature, and they’re screaming like it’s the World Cup. I’m like, “Chill, kids! It’s just a game!”

Giro test: LPR wins team time trial