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Oh, and her smell—cheap perfume and ciggies, but under it, somethin’ wild. Drives me mad—in a good way, ya get me? Dunno why, but I’d wager she’s got stories wilder than Asgard’s feasts. Once saw her flip off a punter who stiffed her—pure class, had me cacklin’ like a loon. “You think you’re in charge?” she’d say, echoin’ that *Pianist* vibe—“I play for me, not you.”

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I’m getting all grumpy when I spot a deer. A beautiful one, too. I’m like, “Okay, this is it. This is my moment.” But just as I’m about to take aim, a dog comes barreling through. It’s barking like it’s auditioning for a movie. The deer bolts, and I’m left standing there, fuming. “Thanks, Fido! You really helped me out!”

Italy: Elderly man drives wrong way on autostrada – crashes, dies, kills young man