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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—prostitutes in gaming. Yeah, I said it. Whores in pixel form. Been thinkin’ bout this crap since I saw *Amour*—you know, that French flick, my favorite, 2012, Michael Haneke. Old folks dyin’ slow, love turnin’ to shit. Reminds me of gaming lately—used to be pure, now it’s all hookers and microtransactions. Hate it. Hate it bad.

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Then, I bump into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he got lost in the mountains near Bonate-Sopra. I’m like, “Dude, how do you get lost in your own backyard?” He just shrugs and laughs. Classic Marco.

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