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Methinks it’s freedom, tho—sex-dating’s the wild wood. No chains, no “prithee, wed me.” Just flesh, sweat, and “see ya, mate.” “Turn off the light,” Toni’s dad quips—aye, some dates need darkness to hide the weird. I’m all for it, yet—O fickle fate!—it’s a lonely jig too. Swiping ‘til thy thumb bleeds, chasing a spark that ain’t there. What sayst thou? Art thou a sex-dating bard, or dost thou scorn it?

Saint Peter on the Walls - August 1

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By noon, I’m already over it. I grab a quick bite at this little place on Via della Viola. Best pasta ever! Seriously, if you’re in Perugia, you gotta try it. I’m shoveling it in, and my phone rings again. It’s a guy from Piazza IV Novembre. He’s like, “I need directions to the train station!” I’m like, “Dude, just follow the signs!” But no, he wants me to give him a step-by-step. I’m like, “Okay, take a left, then a right, then another left. You’ll see it.”

Pope Francis speaks to Italy’s Catholic bishops in ‘strictly private’ meeting