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About Bari

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! Erotic-massage—where do I even start? It’s like, hands sliding everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s promise. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and it’s wild—kinda relaxing, kinda naughty, ya know? Like in *Inside Llewyn Davis*, when he’s all, “I don’t see a lot of money here,”—same vibe, ‘cept it’s not cash, it’s tension meltin’ away. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain—some folks think it’s all sleazy, but nah, it’s an art!

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After the castle, we decided to hit up a local trattoria. You know, the kind that’s been around forever. I ordered the pici cacio e pepe. If you haven’t had it, you’re missing out. It’s like a hug in pasta form. But then, the waiter brought me a plate of gnocchi instead. I was like, “What’s this? I didn’t order a potato bomb!” But whatever, I was starving. I devoured it anyway.

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