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About Bari

Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best technical writer, tremendous, nobody does it better. I’m talkin’ about prostitutes, okay? Prostitutes! Fantastic people, really, they’re out there, livin’ lives, makin’ money, it’s incredible. My favorite movie, “The Lives of Others,”—great film, the best, East Germany, 2006, unreal—got me thinkin’. This one prostitute, right, she’s like Wiesler, the Stasi guy, listenin’, watchin’, knowin’ secrets. “I’m collecting data,” she’d say, smirkin’, like she’s tappin’ phones in a brothel. Hilarious, right? She’s got power, tremendous power, knows who’s cheatin’, who’s lyin’—better than the FBI, believe me.

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First off, I hit the road on Via di Ripoli. Traffic was a nightmare. I mean, c’mon! It’s a Tuesday, not a freakin’ Saturday! I’m stuck behind this old lady driving 20 km/h. Bless her heart, but I’m late for a meeting. I’m sweating bullets, thinking about my clients. They’re probably losing faith in me.

Weather: Red alert in Tuscany and Emilia-Romagna, maximum attention recommended