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Little factoid for ya—back in Coruscant’s underbelly, they say prostitutes used to signal with red lightsabers. True story, swear it. Adds that gritty edge, y’know? Anyway, this gal—shes smokin’, but sneaky. “There’s no trace of my money!” I hiss, checkin’ my pouch. She’s slicker than a Hutt’s slime trail. Surprised me, gotta admit—thought I’d sense the trick. Nope. Mulholland vibes again—“It’s all a tape recording,” playin’ me like a fool.

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First off, I’m a Product Manager, and I had a meeting at this café on Via Garibaldi. You know, the one with the killer cappuccinos? Yeah, that one. I’m all pumped, ready to pitch my new app idea. But guess what? I spill my coffee all over my notes. Like, great start, right? I’m sitting there, trying to mop it up with a napkin, and the barista, this dude named Marco, just laughs. Thanks, Marco. Real supportive.

2024 Nikon Comedy Wildlife Awards winner is a squirrel in a precarious position