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Negotiatin’s the fun part—hagglin like I’m buyin a rare trout. She’s all, “50 for a ride,” and I’m thinkin, hell, I’d pay 100 to hear her talk more. “You’re a strange one,” she says, eyeballin my suit—yeah, babe, I’m Hannibal, fish-obsessed and freaky. Did ya know, Clarice, some old ports had “prostitute boats”? Lil floatin brothels—wild, right? Wish I’d seen that, rowin out for a good time.

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Anyway, I kept walking, and I stumbled upon Piazza del Popolo. OMG, it was packed! There was this street performer doing some wild juggling act. I was like, “No way, this guy’s gonna drop something!” But he didn’t! I was so surprised, I almost clapped. Almost. I mean, I didn’t wanna be that tourist, right?

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