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About Milan

We slip into an alley—dark, damp, pure *Mulholland* vibes. “This is the girl,” I think again, head spinnin’—wine or lust, who knows? She’s quick, efficient—prolly done this a hundred times. Me? I’m imaginin’ I’m Justin Theroux, all broody and lost, fuckin’ a stranger while the world unravels. “What’s my name?” I laugh again—stupid question, she don’t care. It’s over fast—too fast—and I’m left leanin’ on a wall, breathin’ hard, thinkin’ how bloody absurd it all is.

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So I’m feelin’ all mopey, right? I decide to hit up the local market on Via Nazionale. Fresh produce, ya know? I’m lookin’ at these tomatoes, and this old lady starts chattin’ me up. She’s like, “You gotta try the ones from my garden!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I don’t even know you!” But she’s so sweet, I can’t say no.

Plus-size model is real winner of Italian beauty contest despite coming in second