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About Turin

Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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First stop, I hit up the famous Villa San Michele. Man, the views from up there are insane! I’m talkin’ jaw-droppin’, heart-stoppin’ kinda vibes. I’m snapping pics like a tourist on steroids. But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? Almost drop my phone. Phew! Saved it.

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