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If I’m real with y’all—ooh, I’d snatch that gal up, sit her down with some cornbread, and say, “You’re better than this, darlin’.” But they out there choosin’—or maybe they ain’t, who knows? “Some men just wanna watch the world burn,” like Alfred said, and these streets? Burnin’ daily, halleluyer! Still, I can’t help but chuckle—some of ‘em got sass I admire. One time, I heard a girl tell a john, “Cash up front or bounce, boo!” I hollered, “That’s my girl!”

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

But wait, there’s more! I get home, and my cat, Whiskers, is acting all weird. He’s staring at the wall like he’s seen a ghost. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a wall.” But he’s not having it. I’m convinced he’s plotting something.

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