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But then, flip it—today, it’s all over X, people slingin’ it like mud. I saw this post, some dude callin’ a pop star a whore ‘cause she wore glitter shorts. Glitter shorts! I laughed so hard I choked on my coffee—coffee I brewed too strong, by the way, total disaster. I’m yellin’ at my kitchen, “Who cares about her shorts?!” It’s nuts, it’s petty, it’s—honestly, it’s kinda fun to watch. Like, humanity’s still got that medieval streak, just with worse fashion.

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m guiding a group of tourists. They’re all excited, snapping pics of the cute little houses. I mean, who wouldn’t? Albizzate’s got that charm, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over his own feet. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a sidewalk! I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m cracking up.

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