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Here’s a mad fact – did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, some prossies were called “soiled doves”? Proper poetic, that! Makes me wanna cry, thinkin’ of ‘em all dolled up, hidin’ the tears. Gets me proper emosh, mate. I’m like, “You’re more than that, love!” – but then I’m ragin’, cos society’s just chuckin’ ‘em under the bus, yeah? No team-buildin’ exercises for them lot, just cold streets and punters. Makes me wanna punch a wall, or at least a photocopier.

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m there, ready to install some fancy glass in this posh café. You know, the one with the outdoor seating? Yeah, that place. I’m all set up, tools in hand, and then bam! A pigeon decides my head is a landing strip. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna make a living here, and this feathered menace thinks I’m a perch. I’m dodging bird poop like it’s a ninja attack.

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