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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted but happy. I plop down on my couch, and I can’t help but laugh at the craziness of the day. Albiate, you wild little town, you sure know how to keep things interesting!

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