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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? It’s this cute little street lined with cafes and shops. I’m half-awake, sipping my cappuccino, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, huh? I’m like, “Awesome, now I look like a walking coffee stain.”

Fig. 9. Alatri: the north-west sector of the megalithic walls of the...