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Me fave bit tho? Some o’ em are dead clever. Met this one bird, swear she knew more bout Nietzsche than me – and I bloody love Nietzsche! She’s quotin philosophy while yer payin for a shag, fuckin surreal, innit? Surprised me, that did. Thought it’d be all fake moans and heels, but nah, some got brains. “What’s left but despair?” she says, straight outta *Turin Horse*, and I’m like, “Bloody hell, love, you’re deep!”

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over some cobblestones. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make the streets look like a medieval obstacle course? I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh?

As Tourists Swarm Erupting Mount Etna, Italian Authorities Warn Them Away