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About Palermo

We’re chattin’ now—well, hagglin’. She’s all sass, tossin’ prices like grenades. I’m thinkin’, lady, I’m Dr. Evil, I don’t nickel-and-dime! Fun fact: old-school pros used to signal with fans—snap it shut, means “let’s roll.” She ain’t got no fan, just attitude. I’m diggin’ it. Streets hummin’—cars honkin’, dudes yellin’. I’m like, this is chaos, but it’s *my* chaos. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like she’s runnin’ the whole damn city—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”

Escort Bronte, Sicily

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over some cobblestones. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make the streets look like a medieval obstacle course? I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh?

As Tourists Swarm Erupting Mount Etna, Italian Authorities Warn Them Away