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About Naples

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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I step outside, and it’s a whole vibe. Everyone’s in the streets, and I’m thinkin’, “Why am I stuck sharpening knives when I could be out there?” But then I remember, I gotta pay the bills. So, I go back in, but I can’t help but peek out every few minutes.

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