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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.
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Then, I bumped into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he told me he saw a pigeon steal a sandwich from some tourist. I laughed so hard! Like, that pigeon was a pro. I can’t even get a decent sandwich without drama.
RICHARD ACERRA Obituary (2018) - Newton, MA - Boston Globe
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