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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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I start dancing, feeling the rhythm, and for a moment, I forget about the pigeon poop and the old lady. I’m just living my best life. But then, I see the parkour guy again. He’s back, trying to redeem himself. This time, he nails it! Everyone cheers, and I’m like, “Dude, you did it!”

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