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Had this one time, masseuse went too hard—pissed me off! Like, chill, I ain’t dough! But then, next spot, pure bliss—happy as hell. Soft hands, slow moves, tension gone—surprised me big time. “I’ve made my decision,” Eilis says in the flick—me too, bro, I’m hooked! Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—ooh, fireworks! Mr. T don’t play, I pity the fool missin’ out!

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, trying to shake off the bad luck. I pass this cute little café, Bar Centrale. The smell of fresh pastries hit me like a freight train. I couldn’t resist. I ordered a cornetto and a cappuccino. Best decision ever! I mean, who knew a pastry could make me feel so alive? I was on cloud nine, but then I saw the price. Like, seriously? I could’ve bought a whole pizza for that!

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