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Sometimes it’s funny—awkward moans, slippery floors, oops! Reminds me of Toni fakin it as a life coach—“You need to let go!” he’d yell, while I’m over here slippin on massage oil! Total hot mess! I’d be like, “Oh honey, this ain’t no regular backrub!” Ya gotta know—pros use warm stones sometimes. Little known fact—feels like heaven, swear! Once had this gal—pro masseuse—tell me she cured a guy’s headache with ONE sexy neck rub. ONE! I’m like, sign me UP!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the bird bomb, and I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Via Garibaldi. The barista, this dude named Marco, is super chill. He’s like, “Cappuccino or espresso?” I’m like, “Dude, I need both!” He laughs, and I’m feeling good again.

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