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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.
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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I head to this little pizzeria on Via Aniello Falcone. Best pizza ever! I order a margherita, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this kid at the next table. He’s got pizza all over his face. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a pizza monster!” But honestly, it made me laugh. Kids are hilarious.
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