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Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! “Lookin’ for fun, no strings!”—sure, Jan, til you’re cryin’ in my DMs bout your ex. Don’t pee on my leg and call it casual, sweetheart! Sex-dating’s 90% liars, 10% gold. Like that time I found out escorts use these apps—true story! Bumped into one, she was upfront, said, “Cash upfront, hon.” I was like, “Whoa, I ain’t payin’ for that!” Laughed my ass off, tho—props for honesty.

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After lunch, I’m back at the lab, trying to salvage my day. I’m running tests, and suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my experiment? I grab my stuff and run out. Everyone’s panicking, but I’m just thinking, “Please don’t let it be my fault.” Turns out, it was just a drill. Phew! But my heart was racing.

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