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Then there’s this story I heard, right – back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths. Little known fact, that! Like, “Call Candy for a wild ride” – proper secret shit. Made me laugh, thinkin bout Royal sayin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole!” – cos I felt like one, dodgin coppers and tryna haggle. Surprised me how sneaky it all is – you’d think it’s simple, but nah, it’s a bleedin maze.

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First off, I hit up Via Scarlatti for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Caffè macchiato, please!” And he’s like, “You mean your daily dose of happiness?” LOL, true that! But then, I spill it all over my lab coat. Great start, right?

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