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So, I tried it once, right? This guy, total pro, hands like magic—i’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” *Nanny laugh* Hahaha! It’s not just rubbin’—it’s, like, art! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with olive oil, callin’ it “massage for the gods” or some fancy schmancy name. I’m like, “Sign me up, Caesar!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—ugh—the price! Fifty bucks extra for “special attention”? Robbery! I was steamed, yellin’, “What am I, a Rockefeller?!”

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I go down hard, and my gear goes flying. I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and everyone’s staring. I’m mortified! But then, the teens come over, help me up, and one of them says, “Dude, that was epic!” I can’t help but laugh.

Mafalda Benincasa Obituary June 20, 2009