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So, I tried it, right? This app, total madness. Met this chick, hot as hell, thought I’d be back for more, ya! We’re talkin’, she’s all flirty, I’m flexin’ my charm – Austrian style, unbeatable! Then – get this – she ghosts me! Poof, gone! Made me so mad, I punched a wall – not really, but I wanted to, ja! What’s with that? Sex-dating’s got no rules, it’s a jungle out there, like tryna find Zeppelin on tour!

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But then, I see a couple arguing across the street. It’s getting heated, and I’m thinking, “Dude, not in public!” But then, the guy pulls out a slice of pizza from his bag and offers it to her. She takes it, and just like that, the fight’s over. I’m standing there, mouth agape. Pizza really does solve everything!

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