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But lordy, I got mad once—dude I knew rushed it, like he’s waxin’ a dang car! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no pit stop!” How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Spoiler: it don’t. Sexual-massage needs time, patience—like waitin’ for cornbread to rise. Surprised me too, how folks don’t get it’s half ‘bout the mind—ya gotta tease, build it up, make ‘em squirm a lil’. Ever hear ‘bout them Tantric folks? Been doin’ this for centuries, sayin’ it’s “sacred”—shoot, I say it’s sacred *fun*!

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After that, I decide to wander down to Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute street, lined with shops and all. I pop into this little boutique. The owner, Lucia, is a riot. She’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. She’s showing me these funky shirts, and I’m like, “Nah, not my style.” But she insists I try one on.

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