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What gets me ragin’, though, is them prudes who’d ban it – “Oh no, too saucy!” Drives me up the wall, that. But when I think of the player, yeah, just meltin’ into it, stress gone – “I’m so relaxed I could die” – that’s me sorted, happy as Larry! Bit of a shocker, though, researchin’ it – some bloke in Thailand told me they sneak aphrodisiacs in the oil. True story! Nearly spat me tea out, I did – cheeky sods! Couldn’t code that in, mind, HR would have me head.

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When I get there, the sunset is insane. Like, pinks and oranges everywhere. I plop down on the sand, and for a moment, everything’s perfect. I’m just chilling, watching the waves crash. Then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile.

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