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Alright, so sex-dating, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with this?! It’s like, you swipe, you text, you meet—bam, instant gratification, right? Pretty, pretty good, you’d think! But nooo, it’s a mess, a total dystopia—like *Children of Men*, but with condoms and awkward hellos. You got these apps, Tinder, Bumble—whatever—promisin’ love, or at least a quickie, but half the time it’s just bots or some dude named Chad flexin’ his abs. I’m furious, I tell ya! Furious! Where’s the humanity in that?!

We’re all about confidence.

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Finally, I get my cappuccino. It’s perfect, frothy, and all that jazz. But then, as I’m walking down Corso Vittorio Emanuele, I spill it all over my shirt! Ugh! I’m like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.” Just my luck, right?

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