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So I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a lady of the night. Gotta admit, I’m pumped! “This is gonna be great!” I yell, probly scarin’ some pigeons. Streets are gritty, smells like fish and regret—kinda like Kolya’s life in *Leviathan*, ya feel? I see this gal, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. She’s all, “Hey, big guy, need somethin’?” and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Hah! Classic me, amirite?

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First off, I step outta my apartment on Via Roma. You know, the street that’s always buzzing? Yeah, that one. I’m just trying to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Caffè del Centro. But guess what? The line is like a mile long! I mean, c’mon people, it’s just coffee! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I need caffeine to function.

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