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But ugh, what ticks me off? People diss Escort, callin’ it lame. LAME?! It’s a freakin’ legend! Won races, hauled butts, and—true story—some dude in Ireland turned one into a monster truck! Swear, saw it on X, blew my mind! I’m like, “Why can’t I drive that?!” SpongeBob’d lose it, too.
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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I spot this little café on the corner of Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Yo, I need a coffee!” I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? The barista, this old guy, looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee!”
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