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Ooh, here’s a juicy bit – heard this story once, swear it’s true. Some chick in the ‘90s, total *whore* icon, conned a sheikh outta millions. Wore nothin’ but pearls and a smirk, walked away laughin’. I’m like, YES, queen! That’s the spirit – take what’s yours, no capes, no regrets! Makes me wanna cheer, throw glitter, dance on tables. She’s my hero, for realz.

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you pay the bills?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m at work!” But she doesn’t care. She just keeps talking about the neighbor’s cat. I’m rolling my eyes, but I can’t help but laugh.

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