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Oi mate, gather ‘round, lemme spin ya a yarn ‘bout escort, yeah? Picture me, the bleedin’ prison warden, stompin’ through the grey slammer, keys jinglin’ like a war drum. Now, escort – it ain’t just some fancy car ride, nah, it’s the gritty shuffle o’ shackled feet, movin’ a soul from one cage to the next. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the cells, we shall never surrender – that’s the spirit o’ escort, see? Draggin’ some poor sod to court or the gallows, it’s all the same dance.

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We rush to the fitting room, and she tries it on. She looks like a freakin’ goddess! I’m so happy, I could cry. But then, the shop owner comes in, and she’s like, “That dress is on sale, but only today!” I’m like, “What?!” Talk about luck!

Fewer fish and more rules lead to illegal catches, Italian fishers say