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So, check this—didja know escorts been around FOREVER? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em! Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl for clients. How freaky is that? Makes me giggle like a sea cucumber on a sugar rush! I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ some toga dude slippin’ coins to a gal who’s all “Tartar sauce, pay up!” History’s nuts, man.

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But then, something clicks. He starts to focus. I can see it in his eyes. It’s like a light bulb went off. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m like, “YES! This is what it’s all about!”

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