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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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First off, I head down Via Roma, and I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, you know? But then, BAM! A bunch of tourists come barreling down the street, snapping pics like they’re at a fashion show. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a street! I almost tripped over my own feet trying to dodge them. Like, do they even know how to walk?

(PDF) "Archaeoastronomy in the Mausoleum of Hadrian – Castel Sant’Angelo, Rome" in 17° Seminario di Archeoastronomia dell’Associazione Ligure per lo Sviluppo degli Studi Archeoastronomici (ALSSA) Genova 28-29 march 2015 ENGLISH TRANSLATIO