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About Florence

Me? I’d say it’s a scam half the time. Pay 50 bucks for some tease? Gimme a break. “Oh, relax,” they purr—yeah, right, relax my wallet. Makes me pissed—dudes fall for it, droolin’, predictable idiots. But when it’s good? Damn, happy as a pig in shit. Surprised me once—chick knew pressure points, I’m floatin’, thinkin’, “Maybe I’m wrong.” Nah, still a cynic—everybody lies, even masseuses. “No extras,” she says, winkin’—sure, lady, sure.

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First off, I head down Via della Libertà. You know, the street that’s always buzzing with folks? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own business, herding my pigs, when I spot this old dude selling fresh prosciutto. I mean, c’mon! Who can resist that? I’m like, “Yo, give me a slice!” But then, he’s all like, “Only for customers.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m literally a customer of the swine industry!” But whatever, I just roll my eyes and keep walking.

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