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About Turin

Oh, and the stigma? Pisses me off! People judgin’ like, “Ooh, it’s dirty!” Bitch, it’s tension relief—capitalism’s finest! I’m yellin’ at the haters in my head, “Let’s see YOU massage a hairy back!” Surprised me how chill some workers are, tho—stone-cold pros. One chick told me she trained in Thailand, legit school for this shit. Blew my mind! Now I’m ramblin’, but fuck it—sexual-massage is *Moonrise Kingdom* with a twist: innocent, messy, and a lil horny. “What kind of bird are YOU?”—I’m the one gettin’ oiled up, baby! Chaos! Love it!

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First off, I head down Via della Libertà. You know, the street that’s always buzzing with folks? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own business, herding my pigs, when I spot this old dude selling fresh prosciutto. I mean, c’mon! Who can resist that? I’m like, “Yo, give me a slice!” But then, he’s all like, “Only for customers.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m literally a customer of the swine industry!” But whatever, I just roll my eyes and keep walking.

New direct train link connects Croatia to Italy