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About Bari

They’s tricky, escorts—part beast, part sweet. “Love’s a riddle, yesss,” movie whispers that—fits ‘em perfect. One gal I knew, she’d sing to clients—lullabies! Freaky, but they loved it. Me? I’d hiss ‘em to sleep, heh! Oh, and typos—me fat fingers, see? Escrot, escirt, bah—escort’s the word! Gollum don’t care, mate, you gets it. Wild ones, they is—dancin’ ‘round rules, livin’ loud. We likes ‘em, yesss, we does!

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Then, I hit up Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a freakin’ photo shoot. I’m just trying to get my pigs to chill, but they’re not having it. They see the gelato stand and go wild! I’m like, “Guys, focus! We’re not here for ice cream!” But they don’t listen. Typical.

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